Early Birthday Gift

Good News Today

With her first visit to her oncologist since she was released from the hospital on Saturday, Rene was nervous about the outcome of her blood work. She was afraid that she would have to come in every day for shots and transfusions for both red and white blood. She got herself worked for nothing because everything was fine and she got one shot for blood work that is needed once a week! Rene was shocked that she didn't need anything thing other than her shot today; "this is an early birthday gift for me", she exclaimed (June 1st is her birthday).

Rubber Chicken-Part II

Mobility and Rene are not two words you can mention together for awhile. Right now she needs me to assist her getting around still. We realized that we own furniture that doesn't aid her one bit! No chairs with arm rests, sofas that are too low to the ground, and thresholds that she cannot navigate to get in and out out the house or shower.

With the aid of a friend, a new ramp was created for our entrance to the garage so we can enter and exit. I have obtained a transport chair; i.e. a wheelchair minus the large wheels that allow her to push herself. She stated that I selected the transport chair to control her; I'll never tell! The occupational therapist that visited her today stated that I have all the right gadgets. The physical therapist will come tomorrow and I hope to learn new tricks from her.

One benefit I am getting from Rene's condition is improved power lifting techniques. Lifting her is like doing my back, legs, and dead lifts workouts. Since I am taking a couple weeks off from the gym, I will be able to lift more when I return to the "5:15 Club"! Rene is amazed that I can do this and her therapist mentioned my technique for lifting is correct; this is like doing two-a-day workouts when preparing for a power lifting event.

Use The Force

Recovery Road

Rene continues to show improvement with her knee since she strained it on Monday with her fall. She is not a fan of the "hot" and "cold" treatment; since she is getting results, she puts up with it! As I told her, this what you do in all contact sports with strains because it works. The home nurse that visited yesterday stated this is the proper treatment...I win!

Today will be a big day since she has to visit her oncologist, I get to transfer her from my SUV and that is always fun. The knee strain will slow her a bit today I feel and hopefully we will not have any problems as a result. She is now able to sit up after laying down on the sofa with my aid and she can move herself from one end to the other. This does tire her and it shows that she is getting stronger.

Strong Appetite

She still has "chemo mouth" and it is not stopping her from eating more food. There is no push back about consuming an Ensure protein drink with each meal either. If she continues to eat this way, her muscles should show improvement. She is surprised that she is consuming more food and feels better.


Upbeat Emotions

Being at home has improved her mood overall because she has the cats and dog close to her. The male cat makes sure that get to sit next to her when our dog moves. I think she enjoys having a remote control that allows her to channel surf on demand.

I Will Walk Again!

Learning To Move

Right now Rene is still building her overall strength to be mobile and not need yours truly to lift her. Unless we are told otherwise, she will get there but it will take time for her. I think she is happy that I workout as much as I do; she is enjoying the benefits of my strength at the moment!

This was handy last night since she slipped in the bedroom and needed me to lift her. She had me wait to see how much she could do on her own before I could assist. She was both dejected that it occurred and happy she could get on with it. I reminded her that she fell down many times learning how to walk as a baby so this should not be a problem; I know she was thinking, "when I was a baby, this is fine...I am not a baby now!"

We are both amazed that her physical therapy can drain her with what I consider to be easy exercises. This drives home the impact of what the body goes through with chemo and we must be patience with her recovery.

Home Therapy

Beginning today, I will have nurses and physical therapists coming over to check on her and make sure I am doing the right aid with her exercises. This will be our lifestyle with these visits until she returns to the hospital for her next round of chemo. I hope these nurses are like the ones at her hospital, that makes it easier for all involved.

Her appetite is a bit of challenge because she has what I call "chemo mouth"; nothing appeals but we are working on this. She is at least eating and it is smaller portions at the moment. I can at least get her to have a protein drink such as Boost or Ensure.

Company

Yesterday and today, she had visitors and it is great for her spirits. Looking at me is not what I recommend for long periods anyway. She will let me know if she is up for visitors or calls so don't hesitate to call to find out.

Lazy Day

Sitting Around

Not much to report today, Rene relaxed watching television today. She did her exercises and walked around for a bit. The chemo gnomes paid her visit with a slight bit of nausea and that was the only problem for the day. It is great to have a slow day even with the upset stomach. Tomorrow will be a more active day for her and hopefully she will be feel strong enough for it. We still need to get her legs stronger so she can be a bit more mobile.

Strength Conditioning

Exercising

Rene enjoyed her first night out of the hospital and being in her own home. Adjustments have been made to accommodate her current condition to use a walker. Hopefully she will reduce her reliance on this device within the next two weeks. Building up her quad and hamstring muscles in her legs will take time and time is something she has much of at the moment.

Catching Up

Right now she is going through all her e-mail messages that she received and trying to respond back to everyone. Since she has to sit in a chair to do this, she is exercising! Hopefully she will just read, exercise, and relax over these two weeks. This will prepare her for round four of her treatment.

Checkout Is At Noon!

Free Now!

Rene got released from the hospital today and is now at home for the next two weeks before she has to go back for round four of chemo! She is happy and worried at being at home because she has to use a walker to get around and still needs some assistance. I think she is concerned that she will be a "burden" on me because she needs help. I told her to this was crazy and quit worrying. We will have nurses stop by to check on her during these two weeks as well as physical therapists.


Just Relax

The animals are happy to have their "Mother" back and now they will try and manipulate her for treats and protection from me. Rene can now choose to entertain herself in more ways since she is in her home. She has many cards, books, and e-mail to review so it is really her decision. In all of this, she needs to build her strength up again before round four of chemo. She is home and that is all that matters!

Training Wheels Needed

Controlling The Outcome

At this point per her oncologist, Rene will determine when she is ready to leave the hospital. Once she does not require assistance to be mobile, she can come home. Once she is strong enough to support her ability to stand and walk, she ready to be at home and speed up her overall recovery. Yesterday afternoon, she was showed signs that she is gaining a little more strength.

Busy Day

Yesterday Rene push herself and did not suffer any setbacks. She got her nursing assistant to get her out walking in advance of her physical therapist coming to work with her. That put her in the "doghouse" since her therapist had a complete routine for her and Rene "fubared" her plans (sounds like something I would do just to annoy the therapist). So now, no can do any exercises with Rene before 9:30AM to ensure that the therapist is in control; they are very territorial!

Forecast For Today

Rene should have an uneventful day of just exercising, taking visitors, and enjoying the fact that John Smoltz won his 200th game last night as the Braves defeated the Mets in a great NL East match! If she is up for it, I will take her for a short walk this evening.

Rubber Chicken Phase

Being Malleable

It will take time for Rene to recover from this last round of treatment and she is truly a rubber chicken at the moment. She can just start sliding downward if not assisted and this has happen a couple times; she now has a star on her door to let staff know this!

Yesterday was challenging for her to accept her current physical state because a lift team was needed to get her out of a chair. After five hours of sitting, she could not stand to go on a walk with her physical therapist. It is a shock to learn that she is this weak and limiting how long she sits in a chair is important. Since patience is a virtue, she is not being virtuous about this! Instant gratification is required, she must be able to do things that she has always done before she started treatment.

Freud, Jung, & Tony Soprano

Psychology is a very important aspect with chemo I feel, getting Rene to express her frustrations so it doesn't weight her down is not always easy. I am happy when she expressed anger and rage because she usually moves on. Anything that results in tears requires a different approach and understanding, being a football coach or an Army sergeant is not recommended. Failure to be nurturing can earn you the wrath of her nurses and other hospital staff, believe me, you don't want to be on the receiving end of their rage either!

Chess Moves

Beginning today, Rene will work with trying various times to walk, exercise, and sitting in a chair. She will learn the correct combination so she is not completed wiped out after doing any and all items. Hopefully she will discover the correct approach within the next two days.

Who Moved My Cheese?

Baby Steps

Rene is completely free of IV pumps at the moment and any medicines she received via an IV are given orally. Since there are not many medicines she is still moving in the right direction with her recovery. It will be awhile before she gets her strength back to get herself out of the bed, walk, or out of a chair without assistance. She committed to exercising to get her strength back and she has discovered that any routine will "wipe her out" at the moment.

She jumped into getting solid foods along with her soft/liquid to build herself up again. Sores still exist in her mouth and they are not inhibiting her from eating, drinking, or providing pain. She has routine established to manage this and it seems to be working for her. Emotionally, she is getting back to her usual bright and cheery self and all the nurses and other staff beam about that to me. I know everything before I get to her room about her condition because they stop me to let me know. She is their favorite patient at the hospital!

Unleashed...

Hear Me Roar!

Yesterday was a very good day for Rene because of the following items;

• All but one IV was removed from her port
• She doesn't need her morphine pump anymore for pain management
• No more catheter
  
• Her oncologist stated that she is past the worst with her nadir
• She had a long talk with her oncologist and clarified issues pertaining to her care
  
• She understands the overall benefits of exercising and eating during chemo treatments
• She had lots of visitors
  
• She is plain happy

Next Steps

At this point for Rene, she must continue her exercising with her physical therapist and walk with the nurses 2 to 3 times a day. She is still weak and needs help getting in and out of bed at this point. Per her oncologist, she won't be released from the hospital until she is in a state that she can care for herself. I don't anticipate getting her back on the 23rd of this month, maybe by the 28th if she is mobile and stronger by then. Either way, she doesn't want to leave the hospital until she is in this state!

Her business analyst skills will be unleashed on her oncologist very soon. She wants a complete outline of medicines she will be given for round #4 of her treatment. Additionally she wants to know any and all known side effects and how they will be treated if they should occur. Once she knows this, she will not dwell on why it happens.

For her to dwell on it, would be negative, instead she will accept it and make sure to follow the prescribed treatments. I am sure her oncologist will feel like he is back in medical school again because she will not relent until she gets this information. As I stated before, he is in a relationship with her now and he will need me to help him navigate with her. I have been successful in this area for 20 years, I can save him a few bruises, then again it is fun to watch the flogging!

Chemo-ism

Yesterday she found out that her lapses with her thoughts are called "chemo head" from oncologist. During our conversation, I witnessed her completely forgetting situations for a moment and then realizing it. She likes the term and more importantly knowing that it is not a long term issue to be concerned with. Another one of her favorite nurses is taking care of her for the next two days and she will see what other new terms she can learn.

Feel The Burn

Physical Therapy Time

Rene will need to watch the first Rocky and take notes on his training strategies for the remainder of her chemo treatments. After just scratching surface with her treatment, she discovered just how quickly one can lose their overall strength to just stand up from a chair and just walk to either your bed or the bathroom.

Even with her blood counts improving, her body is still lagging behind at the moment. Her diet is being changed from liquid to soft based on the current condition of her mouth ulcers. She is still receiving nutrients via her IV connection on her port. At this point, she is feels she is not ready to leave the hospital yet and I agree with her. I would prefer that she has a few days not being hooked up to any IV bags and she is able pull herself up to either walk or stand without assistance. This way she is monitored and deemed ready to be home for a bit before she start round #4 of her treatment.

She wants me to help her with some of exercises and let the nurses worry about when she walks at the hospital. I was told that I should not think of boot camp with a drill sargent or the my days of football with the sadist who oversaw defense! She is right that it shouldn't be like that but since I am old school, I need to remind myself that she is not bench pressing and I am spotting her. She won't do bench press if she was not sick anyway!

Ying & Yang

Cause & Effect Impacts

Today Rene was confronted with another "dark" impact of her chemo treatment, the loss of muscle strength. She requires help getting in and out of bed or a chair because of a lack of strength within her legs. With the aid of her nurses and physical therapist today, she was able to walk and learn about exercises to strengthen her legs. She stated she now understands why I have trouble walking after an intensive leg workout that included squats when I power lift.

She was surprised on how tired she was from just sitting in a chair for three hours and taking a short walk. The realization that she is limited in performing certain functions without tiring did not sit well with her. Her frustration that this even exists will motivative and depress her. She performed her exercises from her chair and is consuming any foods or liquids that will aid in her recovery. The mouth ulcers are less of an issue for her medically and now she must focus on getting stronger just to sit up or walk.

The irony in all this is that she is looking much better over the past two days than she did at the beginning of the week. The nurses and other staff member again commented on how well she is looking and sounding. One nurse didn't realize that Rene has 4 more chemo treatments and was very surprised. She stated that Rene is very tough and getting through this very well and must continue to do this for the next 4!

Laughter Segment

As I stated in previous posts, Rene loves watching Family Jewels and today that is what the doctor ordered. She was loaned two DVDs with the first season's hi-jinxes. Watching episodes of Gene Simmons figure out how to recoup a $20K investment lost in a cattle farm, spend a day with his biggest fan, and conduct business with a horse outside his home office was very entertaining.

Visitation Ban Rescinded

Much Better Now

Well Rene is past the worst with her mouth ulcers. She is able to drink water and is now on a liquid/soft foods diet. She is still receiving nutrients via her IV port still to supplement her oral intakes. She can speak without any pain and therefore she should be a "chatty Cathy" to anyone that either calls or visits her. She still has the ulcers, they are healing at a rapid pace.

Overall, her blood counts are at levels that make both her oncologist and infectious disease doctor very happy. All the nurses and other support staff have commented on how well she looks and upbeat she is behaving right now. She will answer the telephone now and accept any and all visitors, so feel free to either call or stop by.

No Calls, No Visitors, Please - Day Three

Not Ready!

Rene feels she needs one or two more days before she is ready to meet with people. Currently her counts are improving and the medical teams are thrilled. Unfortunately, the body needs more time to catch up with these numbers. She is mad that she has this cancer and vows to beat it at all costs, additionally she is a bit depressed because of it. She will consider her sitatuion better once she is able to drink a glass of water! Right now she can't and to her this is such a simple thing to do and these ulcers are in the way of it.

Body Armor & Patience

"The cure is worst than the disease", is what chemo is all about at the moment. The term, "patience is a virtue", never considered the mental state of a chemo patient. Instant gratification is the expectation and being a believer of virtue is for bottom feeders!

Rene is exhibiting her stubbornness about taking certain types of medicines for either anxiety or pain relief. There are no medals for this and getting her to relent can be equally frustrating. She is more open to using her morphine pump and taking additional medicines for comfort and pain relief. This behavior is akin to convincing an English bulldog it was their idea to go to the vet!

Sleep Is A Good Thing

Last night she had her favorite nurse taking care of her and she was able to sleep through the night because of this. My hope is that this ability to sleep means she will less of a bulldog about things today with her ongoing recovery. If she is able to drink a glass of water without any complications from the ulcers in her mouth today, she will consider everything a success and more upbeat I feel.

No Calls, No Visitors, Please - Day Two!

Hospital & Rest, Not Equal


Toward the early afternoon yesterday, Rene was beginning to settle down mentally and medically. She is responding to the antibiotics and dietary mapped out a strategy for how she will receive her nutrition via her IV connections. Her infectious disease physician stated that she looked 100% better after one day in her mouth.

So that she continues her improvements, the physician stated that she will continue to receive a broad number of antibiotics until her white blood platelets and counts increase. This meant that last night she received no rest due to the nurses constantly administering new IV hookups every hour! The vacuum she is using to remove the phlegm is aiding in this because it quickly removes any infected particles out of her mouth.

Strategies Vary

Medically speaking, Rene is living in the world of gray with very few absolutes for answers. Everyone responses to chemo differently and therefore known side effects exist and their impact to the individual could be small to extreme. This round of chemo proves that to her mouth ulcers; her previous chemo treatment, the impact of the sores was minor.

Since her recovery is based on rest and nutrition, this is a big blow at the moment and I hope that within the next four days, she becomes stronger both physically and mentally. She stated to me yesterday that this cancer will not beat her! This is the right attitude to have and I am glad she is still fighting and can see herself has a cancer survivor when this is all over.

Next Steps

Relax and let the medicines, antibiotics, and nutrition take over and therefore she won't be taking any calls or visitors today. I must still show up, how else will anyone know her condition!

No Calls, No Visitors, Please....UPDATED

Tough Time Right Now

Rene's condition is not good at the moment, the ulcers in her mouth are very severe to the point where she cannot eat or drink! Adding to all of this, her double port is only functioning as a single port at the moment and this is making it tough for her and the nurses to get all the fluids, medicines, and antibiotics administrated quickly. I am waiting for the doctors to arrive so we can map out how we can get this addressed for her today!

Science, Side Effects, & Confused Stares

Rene nadir is really creating stress for everyone involved and as for me and I transfer the stress back to her doctors if I don't like their responses. Her doctors are doing everything they can to help her and they are acting like doctors in the process!

Her nurses and nurse aides are the true human factor and they make up for any shortcomings in the bedside manner department! It is important to note, that her nurses can get me to behave and her doctors remind me why I enjoy the violence associated with playing rugby against a team you hate! It doesn't help when I stayed overnight and tried sleeping in a chair in her room! Someone has to feel the pain for that one!!

I explained to her oncologist that he must spend time prior to each chemo session on potential side effects and treatment strategies. I told him that we understand that he cannot predict how severe a given side effect could be.

Instead, he should present to her what he has observed and steps taken during the treatment. I also stated that this will aid in understand how to deal with it versus why did it occur. More importantly, this keeps me out of his hair in future!

Medical F.U.B.A.R Issues

• Her dual port has a stoppage in one area that render it to be a single; I agree with her oncologist's decision, get her blood counts to proper levels first and address this later
• This decision resulted in having to insert a needle into a vein on her hand to recreate the dual IV points again; this was painful and Rene made it clear to the nurse doing the work
• Rene's mucositis is the reason she cannot eat, drink, or speak at the moment and it is painful
• There is nothing they can for this except to let the mouth heal and provide proper pain management
• The phlegm factor is unbelievable; to spare Rene the need to spit this stuff every moment, she has a neat little suction vacuum to use in her mouth and I am glad I don't have to clean the vacuum!
  
• She really likes her morphine pump now!
• She now is getting her nutrition via an IV until her mouth heals
• She is experiencing swelling in her legs, ankles, and feet again and the diuretic are working
  
• FUBAR means (Fouled Up Beyond Any Repair); yes this is the proper version!
  

Pain Management Du'Jour

No More, No More!

Per the nurses and her oncologist, Rene's mouth ulcers require something stronger than just Tylenol! Yesterday in the afternoon, she reached her threshold for dealing with pain and let everyone know that she needed something stronger. By that evening, she was resting comfortably after getting new pain medicines.

At this point, her ulcers will be prevalent until her blood counts reach higher levels and yesterday, she didn't require any additional transfusions. She is getting her daily shots to kick start her body to reproduce blood cells and therefore her bones are aching because the marrow in them are "popping" out new cells. She is really loving life with all of this...NOT!!!

No Talking, No Visitors

Right now, it hurts for her to talk and therefore she will not answer her telephone or take any visitors today. Hopefully between the rest and pain medicines she is getting, she will be up to have visitors tomorrow. I will let everyone know if tomorrow will be alright for any visitors.

Steady, Steady, Steady...

Support Process

Rene's mouth sores have kicked into high gear and made sleeping problematic for her last night. It is challenge for her to eat at the moment and the lack of sleep will not aid in her recovery. She is receiving medications for her mouth and hopefully she will not have to experience this discomfort for an extended period. She didn't state if the nausea increased or decreased this morning so it is still lingering and is secondary at the moment due to her mouth sores.

Mood

She is fed up with feeling weak at the moment and will be glad when she is done with all her chemo treatments. I have to keep her trying to exercise in all of this so she doesn't create her own "reality" because it protects against muscle atrophy. I am not below promising to go to malls and shopping if she does exercise; I will regret this in the future.

Nadir Means Ambush

Still Lurking Around

In less than 24 hours, Rene's conditioned bottomed out on her with her nausea going into overdrive first. She has been battling this for the past few days anyway. She was feeling weak and today we discovered that her blood counts were at the bottom end. When you have trouble getting out a chair after sitting down, you know you are weak. So starting today, she is back to getting shots to help her blood reproduce and receiving transfusions again. She is accepting of this situation and still not happy that it is occurring but she cannot change this.

Laying Low

Today Rene is sleeping due to the pre-medicines she was given before receiving her transfusions. The nausea is going up and down on her and she is just dealing with it. In all of this, her kidneys are taking a beating from the chemo. There is no risk at this point with her kidneys because this is a known impact from the treatment and she is responding properly. She is beginning to retain fluids in her legs and ankles from the fluids she is being given and we will just monitor this.

Chemo Sucks!

I Am Not Surprised

Today was definitely a "yo-yo" day for Rene due to bouts of nausea, chapped lips, and the return of her mouth sores. This made her not completely ready for visitors today and she could not speak with anyone due to her mouth. In all of this , her vital signs are positive and she did not require any transfusions of red and/or white blood cells for the 3rd day in a row. As of today, she has gone back to liquids and soft foods until the sores subside in her mouth.

Braves Baseball

They won again today and this means they are in first place in the NL East and this was great news for her. The Brewers pounding of the NY Mets today was welcomed news and it crashed when the Diamondbacks got pounded by the Astros. She was going for the cycle and it fell short for her. Today it was the state of Texas 2 and Arizona 0 (Suns lost to the Spurs).

Positive Thinking

Rene is looking for Sunday to be better for her to boost her spirits and she stated that this cancer will not beat her! That is the right attitude to have so "Mongo" is happy.

Quiet Time

Nothing Special

Yesterday was uneventful for Rene medically, she didn't require any transfusions or shots. She had visitors, walked a bit, when outside for a bit, and sat up in her chair. She loves the new room she is in because it much larger and the walls are not "closing in" on her. She is now the owner of a new red blanket (red is her favorite colour). She is resting well at this time and bored about being in the hospital however. She is not at a point that she will be released early. Her mouth is swollen a bit because the sores are there and they are not impacting what she eats at this point.

Free Falling

Downward Cycle Begins!

Rene's nadir period kicked off last night with a vengeance. She was having a pretty good day and sat in a chair for most of the afternoon and then in the late afternoon yesterday everything changed. She got a severe bout of nausea, she felt cold and required several blankets, and became very emotional. She was transferred yesterday to a large room (the Queen's Suite) and that should aid in her comfort levels I hope.

Drip, Drip, Drip Again...

This drop in her vitals means that she will receive transfusions of both red and white blood cells over the next several days. In addition, she will must receive antibiotics to fight off any potential infections since she doesn't have an immune system during this period. Her double port will be working overtime through next week with all the bags that have given to her. In all of this, she has to maintain an appetite and walk for exercise.

Mental Toughness

She envisioned last night that today WILL be a better day and she should work toward realizing this goal. At this point, it all about a positive attitude and less about the physical aspects.

Blue Funk

Shapeless

The best way I can describe Rene's current situation would be to envision her as a rubber chicken. She feels that you can take her and twist her into multiple shapes and she completely at your mercy. Even though this will be a temporary situation for her, it is still very frustrating and I told her to not to bottle up her emotions and just cry if she needs to. Keeping this within herself could cause problems with her overall recovery, time for "happy go lucky" pills!

New Haunts

They moved her to a larger room today because she will be in the hospital for so long. So I think this will aid in her mood, larger room is less stifling and this should perk her up. I guess she will provide re-decorating chores later for me!

Gimme Strength

Still Weak

Well she dealt with two items from her chemo, nausea and red blood transfusions. This is a good day since this was ALL she had outside of just being plain ole tired! Emotionally she wasn't despondent, frustrated by current state but not despondent! She was a trooper and ate half of her dinner and chased it with a protein drink. It took a lot for her to drink a sweet tasting drink even if it was good for her.

I realized just how tired she must because she did not give me the "look" after I informed her of my wipe out this morning on my mountain bike. It was a very good spill I took, I didn't get one scratch on my bike, I did remove a large patch of skin on my shin but it will grow back in a couple weeks.

Nadir

Hopefully she won't take too large of a dip in her vitals over the next few days. Her nurses stated that one of her vitals is already on the upswing! Her hair is still staying in place at the moment and she has not complained of her mouth sores returning yet.

Murphy's Law = Mondays

That Was Quick

I mentioned that once Rene completed her chemo she would go into her nadir period. Usually this would be between 3 to 5 days afterwards, this is not the case it seems. As of this morning, she has very bad nausea and her blood count was 7.X! So she is being stabilized for her nausea and low blood counts in additional to her kidneys having a to work overtime from the purging of byproducts from this round of chemo. I will add to this post later today.

Part Two

Rene is very weak from this round of chemo treatment and she had to have blood transfusions today. I anticipated this would occur and for someone in her condition, she looked great to me. Her nurses stated that she looks well for someone that went through the type of chemo she must have.

Despite all this, Rene is not happy that she is so weak! This is the aspect of chemo that I worry about, the mental toll that it can take on someone. So besides myself, anyone that either calls or visits her, please do your best to keep her spirits up until she gets through her nadir period if you sense she is unhappy.

Appetite

Even in weaken state, she ate most of her meal this evening and chased it with homemade lemon bars! Personally, I think she felt I would not allow to enjoy the bars if she didn't eat anything. I would have given the bars even if she didn't eat her meal because she had cravings and at this point, give her what every she will eat.

Not For Me

I am surprised that she wanted to apologize for not being chipper to see me this evening. She is the one going through hell, not me! I guess I should be happy that she wants everyone to feel special and she is enjoying their company. I told her to not to worry about "entertaining" me, this is easier said than done!

I'm Done, I'm Done!

It's Alive!

Today Rene completed round #3 of her chemo treatment and the only side effects she had to deal with was nausea and feeling weak. Very different from round #2 which included a few "out of body" experiences. Within the next few days, she will hit her nadir and then the real fun begins.

She did walk the floor and sit in her chair today and this will aid in her recovery. The Braves defeated the Dodgers today to take the series and the Mets lost to the Diamondbacks. Right now the NL East is a great battle and the Braves are in the thick of it. Yes, she is happy and if you didn't already know, she was given a Braves t-shirt which is proudly displayed in her room with her stuff animals!

Eating

She is doing well with her appetite at the moment. The chemo is beginning to affect her taste buds but she is consuming most of her meals. She does have cravings for various foods and today she was offered chocolate truffles by a friend, yes she ate it with a big smile!

Next Steps

She is not happy that she feels so weak at the moment and until her chemo treatments are completed, this will be a way of life for her. The next several days will be a roller coaster for strength and emotions since she is feeling weak. She will get through it and I expect her to kvetch all the way at the same time. She will take her kvetching to uber levels once the mouth sores come back!

Dodging Bullets

Better And Bad

Friday's chemo cocktails left Rene very weak and nauseous and any ideas about her eating and exercising was not something to mention to her. Basically, she felt that she was too weak and her body was too heavy for her to move. I reminded her that she was at the halfway point for her treatments for round #3 and she would get past this.

Today she felt much better and was able to eat and move about. She was not being a "Speedy Gonzalez" when she walked but she felt better once she did. She sat up in a chair for about an hour and then went back to bed afterwards. She could not do this on Friday so this was a major accomplishment for the day.

Baseball Impact

Last night the Braves smacked the Dodgers and the Mainers whacked the Yankees. Today, the Braves lost to the Dodgers and the Yankees defeated the Mainers. This is not a good baseball day and the Mets are winning against the Diamondbacks again! The baseballs are helping Rene today so Sunday's rubber matches are critical for her.

Sunday's Objectives

Tomorrow I am hoping that Rene will continue her improved conditions so she will exercise and eat without too much kvetching. Secretly, I am happy that she is kvetching, it means she is still strong and stubborn! After tomorrow, she won't receive any additional chemo treatments. The next phase of her treatments will be monitoring for her nadir (lowest point) period from these drugs, which I anticipate will occur by Wednesday and hopefully they can address in less than seven days.

Morning Sickness

Only Rene!

Yesterday Rene managed yank one of her IV drips out of her port. Outside of the initial pain this caused, she pull the one that was still providing chemo to her and required a biohazard team to her room. Per her, "you think I could have yanked the one that was finished instead." That's my girl, she goes for the gusto in everything!

Nausea

If Rene wasn't going through chemo I would expect her to be pregnant due to how her stomach has been since she started this round. I was quick on my feet not to remind her that she will probably feel this way when goes through rounds #5 and #7 since they will the same chemicals. As I said before, "crazy I am, stupid I am not!"

Braves Baseball

This weekend will be a fun three games series for Rene, as the LA Dogers venture into the South. Both teams are in first place in their conferences so this one will be wild one. Additionally it will be a homecoming for Dogers' shortstop Rafael Farcul, she really had a crush on him when he was with the Braves.

Drip, Drip, Drip...

Advanced Chemistry

Rene as of this morning is feeling fine and not experiencing any complications from her Intrathecal chemo treatment yesterday. The only side effect that she suffered is short-term nausea from this procedure and after speaking with her oncologist this morning, we will give medication for nausea prior to this chemo treatment in the future.

Right now, she is into her core treatments through Sunday and she needs to ensure that she is walking around and drinking plenty fluids during this time. So if anyone visits her anytime through Sunday, make sure has walked around the floor so the chemo doesn't impact her negatively. I think I have filled her quiver with new arrows to use on me!

Bantering

Yesterday when I was unpacking her things for her stay at the hospital, she was surprised I was able to get ALL her stuffed animals in her suitcase! To all men please take note, you have to be very careful when treading in this area:

• Rene - "You packed all my animals!"
• Me - "Yes?"
• Rene - "I can't believe you did that."
• Me - "I did."
• Rene - "How did you do that?!"
• Me - "I learned by watching YOU for 20 years get things in and out of a purse!"
• Rene...no comment!

Resort Check-In - UPDATED

Hospital Bound!

Time to take her back in for round #3 of chemo. She awoke well rested and made sure that I remembered to pack everything for her! If not, she will make sure I hear about! This should not be problematic getting her in, it will be problematic once she is in. We got her registered this morning and she has a lovely room overlooking the helicopter landing pad! She is still a bit emotional about this and she only wants to fight her feelings not the medicines or treatment. She is beginning to relax a bit with the aid of her stuffed animals and feather pad placed within her bed.

Quid-Pro-Quo

Her oncologist and nurse have discovered that they will a bit of give and take pertaining to treatment with Rene. So if they give in on certain requests that don't impact her chemo, she will give in on other things she doesn't like that are required for her treatment.

Big Bang!

She gets do her spinal chemo treatment later today before she does any other treatments. So this means gets her "LSD drugs" on Day One! I will get my notepad out to record some future discussions and dreams that can only be associated to the drugs. We may discover why Demi and Ashton have not had children yet?

Protection

You must past the "Chemo" test, her big ole dog is guarding her bed at all times! The dog stays with Rene so don't get any ideas about taking him home with you!

Trough Of Despair!

Fear & Loathing Returns

On the eve of her return for treatment, Rene visited the bottom end of her joy. I was not surprised that it occurred and I expect a repeat episode every time she goes back for treatment. I am glad that she was emotional about it because I feel she needs to express her anxiety and holding back will only make it worst for everyone involved.

This event and every future one reminds me of the one thing, she is truly alone during this process! Only she can ingest the chemicals needed to restore her body. Only she along with other cancer survivors can truly understand the emotional and physical side effects of this treatment. No amount of support will take away a single ounce of mental and physical decay she will endure during this process.

She is trying to achieve a recovery apex, only to be thrown down a hill again and until she has completed her 7 chemo treatments, she must pick herself up mentally and physical each time. She is not in control of the physical aspects of journey, she is in control of is the mental aspect and this is crucial. She must envision that she will recover from both the sickness and its treatment! I sit on the sidelines emasculated and doing what I can to support her and she must do this part alone!