Feeling Good & Weak!

Office Visit

Today Rene went to her oncologist for blood work and no surprises were found! He tried to move her stay in the hospital up by one day, the fool! He doesn't understand that once you tell Rene this is how something will be done, you can't change it at the last second! It is a good thing she is not strong enough to belt him in mouth for thinking he could get away with that. I need to explain to him that he is in a relationship with her and if he plans to survive it, he needs to understand what can't be done. Since I have been with her for 20 years, he needs to listen to me if wants to succeed!

General State

Our little girl is feeling fine and is preparing for the next round of chemo treatment. We have discovered that she is weaken from her treatment and therefore she cannot expect to run around and do things like she used to for awhile. Since she is aware of this, it will be easier for her to accept and target little things to accomplish that will let her know she is on the road to recovery. It is not a too bad of a situation to be in for some things, she does have to worry about any cooking or cleaning so she should "milk" this for as long as she can!

Friends, Baseball, & Chemistry

Nearly Perfect Day

This Sunday was quite a nice day for Rene because the following events occurred;

• Friends came to visit
• She got a huge stuffed dog called "Chemo" that will go with her to hospital
• Red Sox defeated the Yankees
• Ate her favorite pancakes from Soma for breakfast
• Braves lost in 11 innings against the Rockies (they won the series still)
• The perfect pair of jeans for her "Chemo Phase" wardrobe were found by a friend
• She had a craving for butter pecan ice cream and I got it immediately (stupid I am not!)
• The Phoenix Suns defeated the LA Lakers
  

Pending Cocktails

This upcoming round of chemo will be repeated for her 5th and 7th rounds. She gets to enjoy the following medicines for the first 5 to 7 days during her 21 day stay in the hospital. All will be administrated via an IV through her port!

• Cyclophosphamide - days 1 through 5
  
• Methotrexate - day 1 and 2
  
• Leucovorin - the same day she gets her methotrexate fix
  
• Vincristine - day 1 only
• Doxorubicin - days 4 & 5
  
• Dexamethasone - days 1 through 5, this one is pill form only!
• By the 10th day of her stay, she will reach a low point from her treatment which requires;
• Antibiotics for her immune system
• low red and white blood counts
• high fever, i.e. 100.x or greater
• stabilization for the remainder in the hospital...this will be drill until she is done with all her chemo treatments!
  

These 6 medicines are capable of having Rene experience the following side effects while in the hospital.

• Nausea and vomiting
• Hair loss
• Poor appetite
• Mouth sores (canker sores)
• Swelling of her feet and ankles
• Mood swings
• Irritability
  
• Low blood counts
• Burning sensations in her urine
• Anxiety
  

She will also have Inthrathecal chemotherapy each time she goes in for her treatment and she is NOT happy that this will occur every time! So it is good thing that she is not having to experience this alone!

Prometheus Unbound

Metaphorically Speaking...

For the past several days, Rene and I have reflected on her condition and why she is grateful that she is ready for her pending chemo treatments. For nearly 10 days prior to us finding out she had lymphoma, she was having severe abdominal cramping and could not digest food. Five weeks later, she is no longer experiencing the extreme pain that I can only describe as the torment of Prometheus! Her oncologist has taken the role of Hercules and his chemo treatments are the arrows that are slaying the "eagles" that ravage her body.

Nourishment & Rest

Since her release from the hospital on Monday, her ability to consumed food has increased each day. She is migrated to solid foods because the canker sores nearly healed. The new bed allows her to get a restful sleep each night and she can lay on her side without any discomfort. Overall she is regaining strength and enjoying her time at home.

Weekend Plans

• Watch the Braves/Rockies series (Braves won last night)
  
• Enjoy the Yankees' discomfort with the Red Sox (11 - 4 loss last night!)
• Play with the pets
• Spend quality time with anyone that calls or stops by
• Ask the husband questions from hell!!
• "Whatcha ya doing?"...be quick or you get the next question
• "Why are you doing that?"...be careful or you get the final question that destroyed many men!
  
• "Whatcha ya thinking?"...under no circumstances should a man every respond! Take whatever pain she dishes out and avoid this question at all costs! You will be FLAYED! I just grunt and it has become a game with us for 20 years, I think can last a bit more before she wears me down!
  

She Gets To Relax!

No Issues

Yesterday was just a boring day with no doctor appointments or surprises! Enjoying the company of friends, playing games, and subjecting her husband to "chick flicks" in the evening. SEC football can't here quick enough for me! Rene at pizza yesterday with no problems and ate oatmeal this morning chased with fresh banana! She is also having sweet potatoes each evening with her meals so she keep her potassium levels up! I am so glad she likes all sources of potassium (I do have to wonder about her since she likes prune juice).

Weekend Is Here

Tonight the Atlanta Braves kick off a three game series against the Colorado Rockies. TBS is back in her good graces because they are broadcasting games again and she can watch the entire series this weekend. I have no problem with this until she channel surfs back to chick flicks during the commercials!

Up Next, Chemo, Round #3

Scheduled Discomfort!

Rene had an uneventful session at her oncologist's yesterday and went home after her Rituxan treatment completed. Her vital signs were good and she was given a shot of Procrit for red blood cells and unlike her leukine shots, she doesn't experience any weird side effects. Her oncologist informed her what to expect from her next round of chemo treatment;

1. She will spend 3 weeks in the hospital from May 2nd - 23rd
1. Since she is still recovering, this time frame was pushed back by two day...he is just a giver!
2. Rene found out that this round will not be any easier than the last round, she will experience the same impacts but this time, she knows what to expect
3. Because she will be in for 3 weeks, she can be monitored for that stage with post treatment when her vitals perform a nose dive from good to bad
4. Yes, she is not happy about the length of time and she knows it must be done if she wants to become a cancer-free survivor
1. She can take her rage out on me when I remind her why she cannot leave when she is feeling fine after the initial treatment!

Food, Food, Food

As of this morning, she accomplished two milestones; first she ate eggs and toast and she finished the complete meal. I should not be surprised by this, since she ate beef on Monday night she has become a bit more daring. She has an appetite for food with "strange" cravings (strange because pre-chemo, she would never have!), such as Arby's for lunch with a Jamocha Shake! The woman hates coffee, she tells me that every time I have a cup of "Joy Juice"! Which lead to the following exchange;

• Me, "you hate coffee anything?!"
• Her, "you're right"
• Me, "so why did you order a Jamocha Shake?"
• Her, "because it taste good with the coffee flavor"
• Her, "I will have coffee flavor when it is a Jamocha, understand!"
• Me, "you're absolutely right, what was I thinking! (just agree, you're doomed if you don't!)

On The Horizon

Rene plans to laze around and enjoy the company of the pets, friends, and tolerate me until she has to go into the hospital next week. She is pumped that beginning Friday, TBS will broadcast the next Braves series so she can watch them over the weekend. By the way, she is ruling the remote control at all times!

Gimme Me A Steak...NOW!!!

Meals On Wheels Required

I was prepared to handle a change in Rene's eating habits based on chemo making everything taste like cardboard. Her oncologist provided the best mental advice to her about food during the process by saying, "you must view food as medicine and therefore you just ingest it". With the reduction of the tumors in her stomach and pelvic area, this was working. With the introduction of her canker sores, I was not prepared for how you keep meeting her nutrition needs!

At this point, Rene's approach to food has been very simple, give her a variety to choose from and it cannot be baby food! Simple request before you realize that blended foods is not on her radar and she wants a cooked meal. Taking Boost or Ensure protein shakes are considered snacks, not replacement to an actual meal. Since she must consume cooked food, no raw (salads and fruits are out), this is a challenge with her stomatitis at the moment.


The following best describes our current conversations about her menu:

• Me..."Let's try oatmeal for your breakfast"
• Her..."No, No, and NO"
• Me..."Ok, a Boost then?"
• Her..."It is cold, not cooked, and too sweet!"
• Me..."Ok, eggs then?"
• Her..."I don't think I can eat that yet"
• Me..."Ok, what do you want?"
• Her..."Grape Nuts cereal and I will let it get soggy!"
• Me..."Ok, I will get that, even though it is cold and not cooked but you want it!"

I do admit that she has done well these past two days by eating salmon, hamburgers, and filet mignon! She has been successful because she is so stubborn about NOT consuming "cream of..." soups that include a chicken breast that has been blended in! She was "Southern" this morning by requesting grits instead of Grape Nuts, I guess she felt that warm stuff was needed instead.

Synthetic Additives

The double port in her chest is really a handy little tool for her. Once they stick her with the needle, they give or take blood in one connection as well as provide chemo in another. This morning she got to sit a comfy chair at her oncologist's office and receive her Rituxan chemo treatment. We were prepared for a 6 hour session but since she had it before they expected this to take half the time. So this is good news for her and went home afterwards.

Homebody

She is relaxing at the moment, taking calls and visitors. The animals are happy she is back and happy to be around them again. Last night the Scrabble gods gave her the best letters to win and the Braves won. Yes, at this point, life is good!

Do Nothing And Like It

Relax Or We Will Do Something!

Today will be a do nothing for Rene and if the animals have their way, she will just pet them and lay still. Since her release from the hospital yesterday, life has been uneventful for her and we like it that way. She is happy to have control of a "true" remote control to channel surf with more than 5 channels!

Last Tuesday, she was admitted to the hospital and new bed for the master bedroom arrived. So it wasn't until last night that she got to sleep on it. I am happy to report that the new bed worked for her and we now know that she can never be comfortable on a firm mattress.

She does not miss having someone come in every 45 to 60 minutes to check vitals, dispense medicines, or take meal orders! She will be back to soon enough with her upcoming chemo treatment (Round #3). Until then, she just has to have blood work tomorrow to make sure that the numbers are either steady or going up, not down! She will get a Rituxan treatment tomorrow from her oncologist's office and head home afterwards.

Clothes & Hair

Since she has lost weight from the treatment, she need to go shopping for what we refer to has her "Chemo Phase" wardrobe. The only problem with this, is she is not up to actually going herself but she will take an offer from a professional shopper to get her things. I am concerned that there will be a time she will be strong enough to go out and then it is all over!

She is still losing her hair and it is occurring very slowly. She is being to have a pronounced part on top of her head that you can see the thinning. It is just hair and it will grow back once all this done. She right now trying to out do the dog and cats for shedding and I think she is beginning to catch up with them. Unlike the animals, she doesn't run or bark at the vacuum cleaner when I am cleaning.

Eating Events

True to form, she is not caving in to Gerber baby food and ate some solid foods last night. Fresh baked salmon work last night followed up with Rum Raisin ice cream. She noshed on cheeses also and had Grape Nuts for breakfast. She is not letting these canker control her and she wants a hamburger very soon! I will blend a pizza for her before the cankers are completed healed, you have to draw the line somewhere!

Power Lifting = Mental Uptick!

Sleep, Diet, & Exercise

I belong to the "5:15 Club", which a group of people that exercise before they go to work every morning. This means that we are in the gym by 5:15AM and out by 7AM! I know that sounds like we are crazy but I don't think so. The key to this is the amount of sleep and exercise that is balanced with a good diet.

Rene is not a member of the "5:15 Club" and right now we would NOT let her in until she is better. Being in the a hospital does not mean you get rest unless you are under sedation, and she isn't. Her challenge is how to keep a balance diet with canker sores and brother it ain't sweet! At this point the hospital has combined blending her foods (oatmeal and soups) with drinking "Boost" for protein, she is so over this!

From a safe distance I got her to try taking soup and blending with a chicken breast. She gets a smooth liquid that doesn't hurt her cankers and it has protein, did I mention she is so over this? Well this will be how she will eat for bit and no we are not taking raw eggs and blending them and trying to get it down her gullet. Crazy I am, stupid I am not! Either way, I will have my hands full trying to provide nourishment so that Gerber section maybe fine dining for a bit!

Going Home!

Rene gets to go home today and she is ready for it! Now I don't have to get the 3rd degree from the dog and cats with their usual look of, "where is the lady?". See, even the animals are tangling with me when she is not around! Yes this means that she is at a point where she is out of danger, temperature if fine and levels are where her oncologist is comfortable for her to be home.

This means she doesn't have to get antibiotics in her port every 6 hours followed with a different set every 12 hours. She doesn't need to get her favorite leukine shots anymore and she doesn't have a bevy of additional pills being administrated at varying time also.

Next Steps

She does get to go to her oncologist's office on Wednesday for her Rituxan chemo treatment but that is outpatient and gets to come home afterwards. We will find out if she goes back in next week for Round 3 of chemo or if she gets additional time for "good behavior"?

All Strikes!

A Good Day

Rene got to watch and enjoy the Braves defeat the Mets to reclaim the NL East lead again. Additionally she did not receive a leukine shot today because leukine causes the "baby" white cells into the blood stream, her doctors want the mature ones instead. She did not need to receive any blood or platelet transfusions.

The Numbers

• Her ANC increased from 500 to 650
• Her white blood cell count increased to 2.0 from .9 yesterday
• Her temperature got down to 99 from the 100.3 of yesterday
• All other vitals are normal

Gadgets

She received a new smart phone today, Cingular's 8125 so this keep her occupied for a bit. I think I may be unleashing a new "prosumer", once she becomes more comfortable with it. It will be interesting to watch her get comfortable with Microsoft's ActiveSync now! I am not sure what she will do with her Palm Pilot and Nokia 6030...I sure I will find out however!

Family Jewels Marathon

She is catching up with the hi-jinxes of Gene Simmons and I think gaining even more respect for him with each episode. She couldn't stop laughing about the situations he managed to get himself into. I think she is very surprised that he is a protective father which landed him into bad ski day!

Keeping Up

Between friends stop by or calling as well as receiving cards and letters, Rene is maintaining a great mental state. She does have her dark moments and they are moments not days. She is still learning more about the effects of chemo and how to cope with it.

I got her to wear her mask yesterday and walk around the floor which was a boost. Today, with the help a friend, she donned the masked and went to the ground floor to enjoy the beautiful Arizona weather. Seeing one of our close friends from NYC who is now living in L.A. was godsend for her yesterday.

This Is A Stock Market!

Bear & Bull Market Required

The best way to describe how doctors are treating Rene is to envision a financial market. There are peaks and valleys with corrections at anytime. This all represents risk and how well it is managed during good and bad situations.

I realized that Rene's condition requires both a bear (downward trend) and bull (upward trend) in order for her to recover. Any infections that may be feeding her fever require a bear attack. At the same time, her red and white blood cells must continue to client, i.e. a bull attack. Throughout all this, one must monitor all vital signs of both physical and mental health and act accordingly.

Market Corrections

Rene experienced "bullish" behavior with her ANC counts on Friday, they were up to 500 from 450 the previous day. Her goal for ANC is 1,000 and if this continues, she will be out both the danger zone for white blood cell levels and the hospital. This increase in her ANC lead doctors not to give her any blood and platelet transfusions.

We were looking for her fever to exhibit "bearish" results but instead it behaved liked a bull instead, spiking toward 100.8 degrees. Her blood cultures did not reveal any information that would explain this and at this point doctors assume that her fever is the result of her platelets being too low and they will continue to monitor. Rene will continue to receive antibiotics on a regular basis, one set every 6 hours and another every 12 hours. She also got her favorite shot of leukine on Friday evening which aided in her sternum "dancing" with the creation of new blood cells

Forecasts

At this time it is hard to predict what next steps will be taken by doctors. We hope that Rene will not need to receive platelets or blood transfusions.

Baseball Boosts

The Atlanta Braves are the only team that matters to Rene and they did their part on Friday to boost her spirits with a win over the New York Mets. The Boston Red Sox's victory over the New York Yankees provided additional reasons for celebration. We are Southern couple so, it is the Braves and whom ever is annoying the Yankees for us!

Find The Cure

Calling All Doctors!

Rene’s fever is hanging around still and now she is getting antibiotics on a scheduled basis throughout the day. We are awaiting the results of blood cultures taken yesterday to determine what type of infection is within her system keeping her temperature around 100.8 and she feels fine despite this. She rested well last night and still a bit groggy this morning since she took a sleeping pill..yes she took a pill!

Her ANC goal is 1,000 and as of last night it was 450 so she is nearly at the half way point. It seems this ANC stuff has some “cool” calculations and once she can sustain a count of 1,000, she is outta there! Believe it or not, she actually asked for her leukine shot last night because they were late! She must be getting better and wanting to escape! That can be the only reason for her to request the shot because we all know just how much she loves getting it…NOT!!!

Call & Visits

She is bored so please call or stop by, have pity because she is stuck with me if you don’t!

Boring....

Getting There

Yesterday Rene got a break from intravenous machines to receive antibiotics, platelets, blood, or fluids. Her platelet count was 28, which were up from 17 from the previous day. This means her body is beginning to respond to the treatments and produce blood. We noticed that her finger tips were pink not white…blood is getting around. Additionally, the bruises on her legs are also clearing up.

She Is Annoyed

Rene is still receiving her leukine shots and she is getting them in the stomach lately. This is a very brave nurse in my opinion! She is still dealing with canker sores in her mouth from the chemo so it is a liquid diet of soups and Boost for the moment and once her immune system is stabilized, she should be able to eat solid foods again.

It seems her nurse stated that “Blacks don’t get canker sores” and she let me have it for being protected from this! Being my usual caring and understanding self about her plight, I responded with, “deal with it!”. After a bit of research, I am happy to report that this is a “wife’s tale” and proper health is why it does not happen regardless of race!

Hair And Sleep

It seems that Rene will not be cutting her hair just yet. Her hairdresser stated she should wait until large patches are falling out instead of the single strains. Additionally since she is anemic and if she was nicked, we could not stop any bleeding. She has not played Scrabble yet because she felt the urge to sleep, and this is important so I told her to sleep and she did! I know she was tired if she did not fight with me about it!

Hospital Time

Her oncologist anticipates that she will remain in the hospital over the weekend and then she can come home. Let us see what happens, I sure she will begin her bantering for time off with good behavior! Of course, the same nursing assistant that she thinks is a "hotty" is working, she may not fight it and just enjoy the eye candy instead!

Hot, Hot, Hot!! - UPDATED

Fever

Rene still has a fever as of this morning. She rested well overnight and got numerous types of medicines (antibiotics, platelets, hydrations, and leukine shots). She stated that this will be a good stay for her in the hospital and they need to her white blood cell count up to keep infections out of her. Of course, once this is done, she will have her third round of chemo which breaks down everything they are doing now to make her better!

Welcome Back

The nurses and staff remembered her and were surprised that she was back. They were happy to see her again because is fun for them. This will help with Rene's mental state because she is very comfortable with the staff at the hospital and therefore she does not dread being there. On a very scary note, most of the staff thought I was her doctor! If I was single, the fun I could have with the nurses, (hey I can dream!).

Know Thyself

Rene doesn't go anywhere without her purse, and lately it is too heavy for her to carry. This means I walk around with it when she visits her oncologist. It is a good thing I am comfortable with myself and I just don't care when people see her purse slung over my shoulder! Those that do look at me normally get the following statement, "this matches my shirt perfectly". The things I do for love! Additionally I have been given the task of consolidating her PDA and telephone into a single device so she has less items to carry in her purse. So this means that I will have an increased technical support geek responsibilities for her new smartphone once I figure which one to go with!

Absolute Neutrophil Count (ANC)

Today Rene got to meet with an infectious disease doctor and learn about ANC. It seems that until Rene is better, she has certain precautions that must be done. She has to wear a mask outside of her room but not inside. She cannot have any visitors that ill visit her. The doctor stated that she did not have any infections at this time and once they get her fever addressed and counts increased, she can go home.

Now for the fun stuff, the doctor chastised staff for allowing her to be in the sitting area without a mask on in her condition. When she requested his business card, he licked his fingers before handing her his card! So much for following his own advice about spreading diseases! Rene used the hand sanitizer immediately...see, no one is perfect!

Bring It On!

Part 1

Rene is ready to seize the day. She had great night's sleep without waking up in the middle of the night for a couple of hours. She had an appetite for a "big" breakfast Southern style....aka grits with cheese and ham. She will have a "busy" day of getting a blood transfusion (5 to 6 hours) and her favorite new past time, another leukine shot!

Let's see how the day unfolds for her and I will update the blog this evening!

Part 2 - They Did Bring It On!!

Well Rene is back in the hospital again (check the side bar for the details). She is back because she got a fever with a temperature of 100.3 degrees! With her white blood cells being non-existence at the moment, she cannot take a chance with her health. Her leukine shots that she just loves, are being administrated to help with getting her white blood cells increased. Now that the fever has kicked in, they will have to get the leukine and platelets to work overtime!

Next Steps

• Get her platelet counts up
• Get any infections out
• Get her red blood counts up
• Get better and come home!!!
• Get her new haircut at the hospital
  

More Shots....NOT!!!!!!!

I Can't Hear You!

Today Rene was told that she must have daily leukine shots to increase her white blood cells all this week. She is over needles and anyone that tells her this. So you can imagine her mood upon getting this news! Her oncologist got out the line of fire and left me to deal with it. What a wimp, the amount of money he is charging, he needs to stick around and share in the joy of his treatments! To add insult to injury, she must have platelets and blood transfusions today and tomorrow. This means that her port will get poked again. Did I mention she is not happy?

Mood

She is really accepting that this must be done because she does feel better after getting platelets and bloods. I know that she doesn't like how she feels after her shots and this is the outcome of getting better. We both have a better understanding of what she will experience with her chemo treatment and therefore we will not be surprised by anything. She is not going to dwell in "pity parties", time to move on and tell me what to do!

Changes

Later this week she will get a new "haircut" and a new bed for the master bedroom. The haircut should be fun for her to get. The new bed will be godsend for her and she thanks Roger for all his help. Flowers, plants, and books are growing around her. She is getting tired of television so this is a great diversion for her if her Zune doesn't take over first.

Birds Of A Feather

Kindred Souls

For the first time in our relationship, Rene and I will have finally have a physically similarity. Chemo has finally struck meaning that she is being to lose her hair. Not to sit back and let it happen naturally, I contacted her hair stylist to come over this week for a special haircut. We have to do this with a certain style as we see it. It she has to be bald, it might as well be done in a way that she looks and feels good about it!

I have always been in battle with the cats and and the dog leaving their hair around our home, now I have found even longer hair to clean up! This will pass and who knows what type of hair she will grow back when the chemo is finally purged from her system. She could be a redhead, brunette, or just plain jet black with curls. She can now review comments on everyone's vote for new wigs and rabbit ears to wear!


Medical Stuff

Today she only had to get one procedure done, her leukine shot and true to form, she complained and whined about it from the moment we headed out, during, and the way back. She stopped long enough to thank the nurse for being able to give it to her without her getting hurt by the needle prick! That was probably half a second and then it was whining again. At least she is consistent about her feelings...she HATES it!! The sores in her mouth are making eating a slight challenge at the moment but the mouth wash is helping.

Sleep

She slept without any problems all night in the the guest bedroom! This additional rest allowed her to kvetch with great power about her shot! We when to look at new mattresses today and settled on a new one, hopefully we can get it before the end of this week.

Lazy Day

Overall, she has just relaxed by watching the Braves defeat the Marlins, enjoying the Bourne Identity, and having the animals entertain her. Tonight she will attempt to best me in a game of Scrabble, I plan to use words with British spelling which should keep her kvetching all night!

Consider These Options

Sleep

Rene has not been sleeping well lately and and a very close friend with ties in the bedding industry quickly determined that our mattress was too firm for her. So she is now sleeping in our guest bedroom which has a softer mattress and this has improved her ability to sleep in a bed again. The slumber parties on the sofa are out and we will purchase a new bed for our master bedroom this week. Since her immune system has been weaken by the chemo treatment, sleeping well is a necessity at this point. She informed me that she has bouts of insomnia also and besides a new bed, sleeping pills may be needed also.

Blood Work Continues

Today was platelets day for her and she has now accepted that she needs this treatment. She was not as accepting of her leukine shot that was given afterwards however. The nurses at the infusion center made it easier for her. She did not make it easy for them when they discovered that she threw away her medical band. Since one of the nurses knew her from Thursday's blood transfusions, she was able to vouch for her and continue the process. I get to sheepishly explain this to the admission desk on Monday in order to get a new medical band issued...thanks Rene...NOT!!!

Food Cravings

She stated that a cheese omelet was on the breakfast menu for this morning. She got up before me and determined that omelets were passe and a good ole Southern staple was needed. She made herself a big bowl of grits and did not leave me any! Since corn base foods are not part of my diet that was ok, but the Southern in me screamed, "but Honey!!!" I am curious to see what she does for breakfast for the next several days since Friday was ice cream.

Comfort = Friends, Family, Pets, Cards, Flowers, & A Zune MP3 Player!

A strong mental state when dealing with cancer is critical. Since Rene's cancer was caught in the early stages, she still has bad moments to deal with it. She is fortunate to have a strong support group of family and friends at this time.

The various cards, gifts, calls, and visits from family and friends allows she to remain upbeat most of the time. There are moments that she has her doubts and this leads to anxiety about her situation. Until she hears the phase, "you are cancer free", anxiety will occur from time to time. This is where our pets help a lot, between Bara (our dog) and Hansel & Gretel (our cats) she is showered with much affection.

Rene won a Zune MP3 player at the BCS National Championship game (Gators 41 & Buckeyes 14) and didn't understand why some Buckeye fans were envious of this device. Since I use an iPod, she wasn't sure if she even needed the Zune at all. Once I configured it and put part of our music collection on it, she now clings to it.

She then discovered just how many CDs exist within our household once she saw the library I pulled songs over from. Typical conversation; her, "we have music from that person?"; me, "yes"; her "how long?"; me "long enough to amass the complete catalog"; her, "you are kidding?"; me,"you're surprised?".

I play bass for a blues and jazz group and she is surprised by all the music I keep? Her playlists include many songs that give her a spiritual boost. She stated that I cannot put Mel Brooks' "Blazing Saddles" on her Zune for comic relief, she doesn't know what she is missing!

Normal Legs, Abnormal Clothing

It seems the diuretic is working and her "elephant legs/ankle" have shrunk back to their normal size. It seems that the only clothing item that still fits her will be her shoes at this time. We both chuckle how her clothes are a couple sizes too big at the moment. I guess it time for her to get some new clothes that fit her better. Overalls could work on the jean front and provide additional pockets for her...I don't think I will convince her but it is worth a shot!

You Can't Make Me!

I Don't Wanna!!!!

Well the "Enabler" struck again by informing Rene that her leukine shots would be given over the weekend also. This news was given at the same time I gave her more pills with her breakfast...Rum Raisin ice cream. Since I was already in the doghouse, I got her scheduled for her outpatient chemo treatment next week...I'm a giver!

I am very encouraged by her behavior and absolute hatred of having to go for shots, transfusions, and additional chemo. She is whining because she wants a break from the whirlwind roller coaster she has been on for nearly a month. She has not given up, instead she is ready to fight about it and she will fight about it.

Chemo Side Effects

• Mouth Sores - special mouth wash from Walgreens for oncology patients
• Bruising - low platelets, this should end soon
• Weight Lost - she is cravings foods like ice cream, Jello, Wendy's, Taco Bell...
• Fluid Retention - her legs and feet are almost normal thanks to her pills!
• Anxiety - for her, sleep location only

Transfusion Outcome

She is getting her strength back after getting platelets and blood yesterday. She is not winded from moving around and her legs don't feel like 100lbs weights anymore. I noticed that her voice sounds very strong and the "looks" about her pills and shots were lighting quick this morning. She will get her revenge on me in the future.

Husband = Benedict Arnold!!

Stealing Her Joy

When Rene was told by her oncologist on Monday she was being released and that she had time off until the end of the month, it meant to her, she truly has time off! Today she is sitting in an office receiving platelets and blood transfusions. This like being in the hospital all over, it didn't help that she had to get shots to aid her bone marrow this morning again and will get them tomorrow!

She is annoyed that she has to go through this and she is VERY annoyed with me because I am an ENABLER of this discomfort! The charges against me are as follows:

1. I make her take more pills at different times of the day
1. Her immune system is shot = pill will resolve!
   
2. She has bouts of nausea = pill will resolve!
   
3. She has fluid retention = pill will resolve!
4. Her potassium is low = pill will resolve, getting her to eat bananas is out of the question!
2. I schedule her for this "torture"; I didn't help my cause when I ask about her outpatient chemo treatment this morning either!
3. Low platelets means nose bleeds; blood transfusions will resolve, "you must go!"

Healing Via QVC & Braves Baseball

In our home the remote control is owned by Rene and only a fool will try and take it away. So during the college football season, I ("the fool") gladly risk my life for SEC football (this is a sad time for her). She gets comfort in watch people hawking various items on television for hours on end. This is only interrupted by the Atlanta Braves baseball team.

When she came home on Monday, she got to watch Joan Rivers jewelery on QVC and Braves baseball at the same time! Baseball I get, this QVC thing, she enjoys it and I accept it. Tonight she gets to watch the Braves play the Washington Nationals and complete a three game sweep and stay at #1 in the National League East. It is early in the season but the Braves are already annoying everyone in their division and this is a good thing!

Next Steps

I estimate that Rene will have a 360 degree turn around with blood in her and she will be feel much better. With this change, come the fact that she will be able to really fight about additional medical items that conflict with her time off! The biblical verse of, " as I walk in the valley of death, I will fear no evil", never considered my wife when I won't allow her to rest! This make a bunch of drunk bikers spoiling for a fight seem safe when you compare between the two!

She seems to have an appetite in all of this, she wants Haagen-Dasz Rum Raisin ice cream and last night she had to have a Wendy's Classic double cheese burger. At this point she cannot handle any plastic plates, glasses, or flatware. This only means that I have more dishes to wash, this is not the end of the world, if I give her plastic...that is the end of the world!

Blood Transfusions...No!!

What!!!

Today was not the day Rene was looking to have. She met with her oncologist and only wanted to hear the following from him, "your body is producing blood cells by itself, you don't need anything!". This was not the case, her red and white cells were decimated during her treatment and she now needs both platelets and blood. She is at a point that she must be very careful and not bruise or fall due to her low counts. I must watch for any fevers or chills because she has to go the emergency room immediately or we will have larger problems to deal with.

Additionally, she has to get shots at her oncologist's office for the rest of this week that will cause her bone marrow to work in overdrive producing cells. These shots cause pain in her bones and now they have unleashed a "rabid" (she is weak at this point) woman with this news! She has earned the right to have temper tantrums and she quickly recovered and accepted she must to do this, she must heal herself and it takes time.

Anti-Jenny Craig

As I stated a couple days ago Rene's has lost all her muscle mass and a lot of weight. Today she looked a NYC B-Boy in baggy jeans and shirt that used to fit her. It is a good thing her bras have three levels of hooks to choose from or I was going to have to stuff them with tissue to get the "girls" looking normal again!

Slumber Parties

One thing this treatment has done to her is made the sofa the most comfortable place for her to sleep. Therefore, I find myself sleeping on the floor next to her because she is not comfortable sleeping in bed at the moment. It reminds of the times I would crash at a FSU frat house to watch my Gators clean their clock !

Rest, Rest, Rest!

Home!

She slept through the night without any complications. She did have frequent trips to the bathroom due the diuretic for fluid retention she has in her legs. As of this morning, she felt rested with a slight headache which Tylenol took care of.

• Her ankles and feet are beginning to look normal so the diuretic is working
• She is eating even though she doesn't have any taste buds making her want to eat
• She has lost weight from the chemo treatment now she gets to build herself back slowly from her treatment
• Today should be a very uneventful day for her
  

CHARGE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Outta Here!

Well Rene got her wish to get of the hospital and she is now home. This was not an easy morning getting her out because she had reach her threshold. She did not sleep last night because wanted to leave and the morning could not come quick enough. This is why I received a call at 5AM from her informing me she did not have any street clothes, they were in the drawer next to her! Her overnight nurse has been an angel for the past 5 nights got her to relax without pills!

Medical Front Update

• She doesn't have to take any medicines while she is out
• She will have a blood transfusion at her oncologist's office on Wednesday
• She will have her outpatient chemo (Rutuxian) next week

Two Weeks Home

• Rene gets time off from her next round of chemo treatment
• Her oncologist stated that she went through her toughest course and she did well
• It will be easier on her now but she knows that everyone responses differently to treatment
• She must now rest and build her strength back which will means not trying to over extent herself; this is easier said than done!
• She will go back into the hospital for round three the last week of April; right now, that is a long time for her!

Pacing Herself

Rene loves to take life with gusto and not be limited by anything, this afternoon she discovered that chemo really does weaken the body and she cannot do simple things easily at the moment. She wanted to "cleanse" herself of the hospital environment by promptly drawing herself a hot bath and soaking in it. This little event proved to be a challenge when she discovered that her body was dead weight and she couldn't get out. I calmed her down and got her out and she stated, "bathes are out and showers are in I see!" and we laughed that firefighters were not needed to get her out!

• She is weak from her treatment physically and she will recover
• Her mental state good at the moment and will improve each day she is home
• We must make sure that she eats any and all food to increase her recovery
  

Reflections & Monty Python

Whew!

Easter Morning finds Rene a free woman from being hooked up to any tubes for chemo, a catheter, or still "flying" from all the drugs. After 9 days in the hospital we are at a point that they may release her on Monday to go home. If this happens I will celebrate my birthday after all!

Last night Rene wrapped up having out of body experiences due to the chemo. She had help a little boy get back home. The little boy did not have a name and she couldn't tell why she was trying to get him home either. Once she awoke from this dream, she was felt whole again.

Additionally she told her overnight nurse that she was thinking in German...now there is a scary thought! I have enough on my hands when she thinking in English, if she goes to German, I will never see it coming! I think about Monty Python while I observe her in this state and how one situation lead to their famous line of, "No one expected the Spanish Inquisition!" Listening to Rene try and explain her various hallucinations and dreams reminds me of my favorite skit!

Medical Front Update

• The lumps in her breast have shrunk from being the size of a $.50 coin to a penny!
• Her neck and right arm are back to normal
• She is not experiencing any of the abdominal cramps and is eating all types of food
  
• The fluid retention in her legs and ankles is beginning to change, they are softer today than yesterday
• She has lost muscle mass in her body, especially her arms
• For the first time, I am noticing that she thinner from the chemo in her face and shoulders
• She is fine in all of this and walking around
• She is looking forward to coming home soon that is for sure
• We will find out about her lab results and if she needs blood transfusions tomorrow

Bored

• To pass the time away, she is working a nice 700 piece puzzle
• Combing the hair of a head doll in the waiting area
• Watching television
• Either taking calls or seeing visitors

War & Peace

• Seems that Rene's body is building up blood cells on its own
• The good news means no transfusions are needed
• The bad news is that she will be given additional medicines that will cause her bone marrow to continue producing blood cells; during this process, she will feel discomfort in her bones which means painkillers will be needed
• Just when she was feeling better and no pills, she has to do it again!
• They keep forgetting they are dealing with a very head strong German...the fools!!

• Her neighbor next to her, needed a bit of brighten so Rene being her usual self, brought one of her stuff flowers over to her
• She started smiling immediately when Rene brought it in
  

In Between Days

Emotions = Janus

We are discovering that the impact of chemo treatment can be very frustrating for the patient. Rene is noticing an "out of body" experience with the treatment and she doesn't like the feeling of not being in completely in control! Who can blame her for feeling this way? She is supposed be "inside" her body, not "outside" watching it.

Pick Me Ups!

Thank you for all the cards, flowers, stuff animals, books, Easter baskets, and calls that you are providing to Rene. This is the type of mental medicine she needs and it is working. Her brother's Easter basket of goodies brought out the kid in her yesterday! Additionally, one of her favorite nurses was on for the overnight so instead of sleeping, she chatted up the night with her...women (my apologizes)!!

Medical Front Stuff

• New catheter equals no pain...joy-oh-joy
• She is finishing up her last bag of chemo and then she won't be hooked up; watch out, she can now be mobile!
• The diuretic is working and the swelling in her legs and feet should become smaller by Monday
• "Here is your pill", "I don't want to take it", "You need to take it", "I don't want to"; she took it and discovered she felt better...what a concept!
  

Hide-N-Seek

Over from her room is a visiting area and not too many people know about it. So if you come to visit her, walk over the where the Exit sign is and you will find her. She had her new nurse in a slight panic that she lost her patient at the start of her shift!

I have more to share with you so check again later today!

What A Strange Trip!

Rush!

Last night Rene was "flying" from the from the chemo in her spine. We have some very interesting discussions about masked wrestlers standing next to her as well as her nurses sitting in a plane while she was laying on the tarmac! Because she never experimented with drugs, this was a scary ride for her. She was trooper and stubborn about giving in to it so she willed herself. I must admit that her bursting into song was a bit over the top, the nurses loved it! After 10PM, she came out of her "fog" and walked around, ate chicken noodle soup, sat up and talked with her nurses.

Medical Front

• The spine treatment performed yesterday was to make sure that lymphoma has not reached her spine, we get the results on Monday
• Her oncologist feels she is clear of this because she is not having any of the symptoms associated with the cancer in the spinal fluid
• We are both relieved to hear that one!
  
• She gets a new catheter today, she is happy about that one, no more burning!
• Diuretics to get the fluid out of her legs and ankles so they look normal
  
• Her doctor is very happy with how well she is responding to her chemo at this stage
• No more drugs after today so this means she won't be in any fog over the weekend
• Her appetite is strong and therefore she is able handle her chemo
• She is resting much better now
• No hair lost as of this morning so I have to wait on the bunny ears for her
  

Home Decorations

Let's face it, hospitals are not cheer places to be in no matter how good the staff is. Her bed has "grown" from flowers with smiley faces and messages stitched on them. Her dog with bunny ears has gotten additional help with a big yellow chicken cuddling with a newly born chicken. Yes, my wife has a thing for stuffed animals and now these critters are her "toys" that go to the hospital with her for the remaining chemo treatments.

Seems that this will be a great day for her, check for updates later today!

Mr. Toad's Wild Ride!

The Untouchables - 1987 Movie Quote

"You wanna know how you do it? Here's how, they pull a knife, you pull a gun. He sends one of yours to the hospital, you send one of his to the morgue. That's the Chicago way, and that's how you get Capone! Now do you want to do that? Are you ready to do that?"

This is what Rene must do mentally to beat her lymphoma!

Side Effects

While her body is responding positively to her treatment, she is beginning to experience some of the know impacts of chemotherapy. So far I noticed to the following:

• Anxiety/mood swings (she is aware that is is occurring so I am not too concerned)
• Fatigue - she is getting blood transfusions today because she is anemic
• Fluid retention in her legs and ankles - they will cut back on the fluids they are giving her
  
• Discomfort in her jaws - they will monitor this
  
• Urinary discomfort/infection - antibiotics and flushing of her catheter fixed this
  

Positive Signs

• Appetite is still strong, she has rediscovered her love for chocolate ice cream!
• Walking around, this morning she was a little speed demon, yesterday she was a slow turtle
• Zinging her husband, she is feeling ok in all of this!
• Acknowledging that her overnight nursing assistant Jack is a hotty
• When she was walking yesterday, she heard one of her favorite singer/songwriters on a nurse's radio and sang along to the song playing
  

Pending Chemo

• She is supposed to have the treatment in her spine today, this will be brutal on her physically and mentally

Post Spine Chemo Update

• She did more walks today before her treatment and she is getting further up the hallyways
  
• She got through her spinal chemo treatment without incident
• She stated that the fluid they removed for the treatment was clear and this was a good sign
• It may mean that is not in any danger for the lymphoma spreading, we will ask her oncologist about this in the morning
  
• As of 4:36PM, she has to lay flat for four hours, this will be fun to observe and it will protect her from getting headaches
• The good thing about this treatment, she has already had this chemo in her system so it is not new and she got another M*A*S*H team!
• She had a bit of a panic attack due while laying on her back as well being dizzy and nauseous; medicines to the rescue again
• Her catheter has been giving her some fits today so it is time for install a new one...what fun!
• She is passing a lot of sediments so that means that her body is purging what the chemo is breaking down
• I never thought I would enjoy looking at a bag or urine!
  
• She is very fortunate to be in a facility with great nurses that always check on her condition, their care is helping her get through this
• She broke into songs today while being treated and taking visitors; again, a good sign
  

Good Signs!

A Great Night Again

Since Rene went back into the hospital last week, I go every morning before 7AM to greet her. This morning I witness her sleeping on her side, she hasn't been able to do this for nearly 6 weeks. This is a sign that she is finally getting relief from her abdomen and stomach problems. Her version of "Fuseli Nightmare" has been pushed off, hence, this is why I selected today's graphic. She felt great, looked rested, and was surprised that she was able to sleep on her side.

Southern Comfort

Being a Southern male I understand that convincing your wife to do things that she doesn't want to can lead to trouble if you are not tactful! I have become more bold in the past few days with getting her to accept chemo, eating, and now walking around the cancer ward. As I stated yesterday, she needs to walk now so that the toxins from the chemo don't build up in her body. This morning's I used the following statement, "this is something we can do together" and she couldn't counter it. I must be careful since she is on chemo, her mental reflexes are a bit slow so I won today!

Nurses' Pet!

Rene's attitude about her cancer is considered refreshing by the nurses because she is fun and upbeat. They enjoy coming into her private room and they feel that this attitude will carry her in beating her cancer (hopefully like the Florida Gators on Ohio State!).

Chemo Update

• Her oncologist reported that she is doing great with her second round of treatment
• Because her lymphoma is an aggressive type, he must be equally aggressive with his treatment of it
• The cancer placed her in the hospital and he will purge it from her body so she can go home and enjoy her life!
  
• He is planning to start Intrathecal chemo tomorrow; chemo in her spine!
• She risks headaches as well as mood/memory swings; I love how she is now and this could change her!

This is all for now, I will post more this evening

Triathlon Training

Rene began her second round of chemo treatment last night and no setbacks occurred. She stated she got a bit nauseous and that was addressed immediately with medicines. More importantly, she did eat most of her dinner and breakfast this morning which is a requirement for successful treatment. Her oncologist stated that she must view food as a medicine and therefore it will become standard intake for her.

I am happy to report that mentally she seemed upbeat and ready to tackle the world, as long as that could done from her bed! So that this positive mental attitude is maintained, I brought in her own pillow and pictures of the most important things to her...the dog and cats! It good to understand your role and pecking order with your wife!

Routine

• Now that chemo has begun, Rene must become mobile by walking around; this will be a bit of a challenge with the tubes attached to her but between the nurses and myself that will occur
• Sitting up in a chair and not staying the bed all time will aid positively with her treatment and she has a comfy chair in her room and in sitting areas
• Eating regularly, a nutritionist is meeting today to create a menu for her and we want this because we don't want to poke another tube in her
• Positive mental attitude, she must believe she can become better; I gave her a mental picture of me not being managed, that got her going!

Medical Highlights

• The three liters of fluid they drain from her on Friday was the result of her lymphoma and after this chemo treatment, she will not have to worry about that again
• The heart tests came back positive, the fluid around it was also from the lymphoma
• No new fluid build-up has occurred
• The swelling in her neck and right arm will subside once the chemo treatment is completed by next week
• The swelling around her ankles is getting better because the retention of fluids has been addressed
• She is drinking plenty of water to flush her system of the toxic output from chemo
• Her oncologist stated that her lymphoma is a result of her contacting mononucleosis (Epstein-Barr Virus) over 27 years ago!
  
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Next Steps

• We will keep our fingers cross that she can avoid most side effects of this treatment
• She said if her hair falls out, she going to wear either bunny rabbit ears or reindeer antlers! (I couldn't convince her to consider the Unicorn look however)
  

No Checkout For You!

Rene will not get a week off before beginning chemo! She begins the process today and it will be an intensive one for the next two weeks. The tumors are trying to grow back and therefore they must be shrunk! Her neck and right are are a bit swollen again and it is because the tumors trying to grow. Rene is a bit emotional about this and it should be expected. On the good side, she got to watch another episode of "Family Jewels" in which both Gene and Shannon went in for cosmetic surgery!

Purple Haze!

• That is how she feels with the drugs at the moment, especially the one for anxiety; I need to give that drug to the dog and the cats....they miss her!
• This state does make for interesting conversations such as, "why has Demi Moore not had a baby with Aston yet?"....yep, it is the drugs!
• This is both good and bad and Rene has to adjust to this, which will not be easy because she won't be in control (this is her German side coming out!)

Miscellaneous

• Eye Candy again - she has a male nurse today and she likes his looks!
  
• I expect her to run the gambit on emotions over the next few days
• The fluid build up in lungs and abdomen last week was the result of the lymphoma and should subside once the chemo takes effect
• Watch the blog for when she will be up for company and taking calls
• I anticipate her staying in the hospital until April 23rd
• She will stay on a liquid diet for another week and hopefully then, a nice roast beef sandwich!

Chemo Cocktails

Rene has 6 courses of chemo left to take and beginning today, she starts course #2 which is made up of the following drugs and she gets these same ones on course #4 & #6:

• Ifosfamide
• Mesna
• Methotrexate
• Leucovorin
• Vincristine
• Cytarabine
• Etoposide
• Dexamethasone
• She also will get some chemo in her spine!
  

Same Teams + Different Sport = Same Outcome!

Tonight the University of Florida defeated Ohio State University for the national basketball championship. Rene and I attended the BCS National Championship game in January to witness the football team together. This evening, she called me to let me know she watched the Gators take a "bite" out of the Buckeyes again! She is still being a fighter! SEC rules again!!

So Far So Good!

Morning After

• No new problems with her chemo treatment yesterday and it was an uneventful evening
  
• She didn't need any medications last night because she had no pain or nausea
• What does she do? She takes a shower...she then realized that chemo makes you weak!
• She ate most her breakfast this morning
• She is very happy because today she doesn't have to be hooked up to any machines
  

More information to come later today!

She is up for visitors and telephone calls today!